I must take a brief step back from Local Lemons. My father is ill, and I am back in my hometown of Cedarhurst, New York.
I have not traveled to New York, or seen my family, since February. I was raised in a traditional Italian household, with Sunday dinners at Grandma’s and my extended family all living on the same block, outside of JFK on Long Island. So close to the airport, in fact, that my friends and I would sneak into a hidden parking lot to watch planes land right over our heads, as we smoked cigarettes and gossiped about boys in our class.
No one ever left. No one in my family moved more than ten minutes away – except an uncle who ventured upstate to raise chickens. When I told my family I was moving to Brooklyn, 19 miles away, it was the end of the world.
That is, until we broke the news that we were California bound.
Whether it was in protest or just a lack of time, my family has yet to visit the beautiful place we now call home. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt, or even a tad angry. My father and I have spoken a scant handful of times since I left. Now he’s ill, and I regret not taking the initiative.
He’s actually worse than ill. We are on day three of sitting in the hospital waiting room, doing just that. Waiting. Waiting for doctors, nurses, assistants, anyone to come out and give us an update. Anything to give us hope. I’m writing this now in an attempt to forget my surroundings for a few moments. But writing about it isn’t helping as I hoped it would. Maybe a change of subject…
I had a great post planned for this week; a recipe based on a dish I had at Spruce, the trendy, special-occasion worthy San Francisco restaurant. Foodbuzz invited me, along with other local food bloggers, to Spruce for a four-course meal sponsored by Black Box Wines. Yes, it is how it sounds–wine that comes in a black box. The food, the company and the wine were spectacular, and I am humbled that my little food blog afforded me this dining opportunity. In my next post, you’ll hear more about this fairy tale night, and I’ll share a recipe for my version of what I thought was the highlight of the night – Duck fat fries (hint, mine aren’t fried.)
In the meantime, voting ends for the Foodbuzz awards on October 29th. I was hoping to earn your vote with one last recipe. If I’ve earned it anyway, please click here to vote for Local Lemons for Best Recipe Blog and Best Green/Sustainable Blog.”
And more importantly, please send some positive thoughts my father’s way.
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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m so sorry to hear your dad is ill. Hospitals are awful, time-warp places that suck you up into their vortex like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Positive thoughts aplenty in your direction
Vern and I are sending you super-sunny vibes from SoCal. Stay strong!
I’m so sorry – you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Wishing you and your family the very best during this difficult time.
Hello,
I experienced a rough patch with my father in the hospital a couple of years ago. Just take it day-by-day and try to just check-out every once in a while by reading or writing or knitting or whatever helps. A little down time will help you refuel. I know it’s not easy. This may sound so obvious, but try to eat healthy and sleep–both were really difficult for me.
Take care,
Denise
So sorry to hear about your father. Don’t live with regret, just make the most of the time you have now. Be safe and take care!
Lots and lots of them to your father, you and all your family.
rachx
so very sorry that your dad is in hospital not well… the waiting room in these kinds of situations is so difficult, just know we’re all thinking of you & sending good vibes your way especially to your dad… as for the little mention of feeling regret, let it go & be in every moment Now that you have with your dad…when you’re sitting with him, share your thoughts & tell him what you’re thinking & feeling – even if it means going back to feeling hurt… just keep letting him know you love him… he will know….trust me… i’ve been there, done that, and i have no regrets… and yes, nicole is right: getting some breathing space of your own is important, so check in or take a walk, knit, and try to keep eating something healthy and snatch naps when you can…
take care!
I’m sorry to hear what is going on…. Family can shape you in so many ways. I’ve wanted to move a whole state away (to OR from CA) but my mom would have a fit. One day, I will, and trust that our relationship may heal from that. Enjoy the time you have with your Dad while you can. I’m glad you got a chance to go to an amazing dinner before you left. Big hug.
I’m sorry to hear about your father, lady. Sending many positive vibes your way. Take care.
Sorry that your father is in the hospital!You are in my prayers, Allison.
Oh Allison. I have been thinking of you so much. I hope you get some good news here soon.
Bella,
the food, your writing and your wonderful blog will always be here! Take all the time you need with your family and just ‘be’!
You & yours are in my thoughts at this time!
baci, baci
xx
I am not good in these situations in person and surprisingly I am no better online. I hope, for your sake, that you are able to spend as much time with your father as you can. Go, be with your family, your blog and all of us will still be here when you decide to return. My thoughts are with you and your family.
So sorry to hear it, Allison. My heart goes out to you and your family. I’ve been though something similar and it’s something I’d like to delete from my memory, but it will stay with me forever.
I am so sorry to hear this. I myself went through a similar situation (had a stroke and heart surgery) and it was my family that was by my side. Take care of yourself as much as possible, since your father is getting care that he needs, and he will need you rested etc. No, we have never met, but I am thinking about you and your family.
Take care of yourself–I’m very sorry to hear about your dad. Prioritizing is obviously important in times like these…we’ll all be here when you return. Thinking of you…
So sorry to hear–and sending lots of positive vibes your way. Take care!
so sorry to hear about your dad. i know what you’re going through, and it’s painful and sad. Don’t beat yourself up about what’s happened – you are there now.
I did vote for you already. I am sorry to hear about your pain. Families are quite complex and the closer you are, the more the sting at times. We expect so much from each other in close families. I will do better than positive thoughts. I will pray for his healing and for your chance to feel a mending. Prayers are the answer to what we cannot do for ourselves. I did the same thing…moved to CA from PA, but my job kept me back for many visits. But, I understand, especially in Italian families. They take it personal. But at the end of the day, they love you and they know you love them.
Your father, family, and you are in our prayers. If they’ll let you, go in to his room even for a few moments, whether he’s awake or not. Hearing your voice, or feeling your touch, he’ll know that you’re there. He already knows that you love him. Sending you positive thoughts and good wishes for your father’s recovery, and for you to have the strength to deal with whatever comes.
What an aewsmoe way to explain this-now I know everything!
Hi Allison,
I’m so sorry to hear and sad that you’re in NY under these circumstances. I was hoping next time you were here, we could chat. I have thinking about a move to CA too. I wish you and your family the best! *Hug*
Jessica
You and your family are in my thoughts, Allison.
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.
So sorry to hear about your father. I understand what a hard time this is for you and the family, having been there myself. Remember all the good times you had.
Sending comforting thoughts & prayers to you & your family from your new home in California.
I know how you feel but don’t be angry or hurt, life is too short for that. All you can do is invite your relatives to come out it is really up to them to make the trip.
Take care of yourself.
Sorry to hear about your dad !! I know how it is, I been taking care of a wife,real lock down,don’t leave for 2 years now,and we like to have lost her this week-end.You will be in our prayers!! Families come first,we’ll look at recipes later.I like to have said,we’ll cook later,but its 7:30 am here,and breakfast is over,and dinner is almost done.
Allison,
I did not think of popping over to Lemons earlier as I knew you were still back in NY – now I see your warm and loving post and I am remembering the same conversation we had over dinner. Your father knows that you did not leave him, you only left a city, the people you love know that! Our thoughts are with you and your family, not a day has gone by when we think out loud and wonder how you are. Take care and let us know when you come back this way – we will be here!
xx
Denise & Lenny
Hi Allison, I know this is belated but I’ve been keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I’m sure you’ll be back to blogging in no time and my best wishes for a speedy recovery to your dad.
Wish we had you here on the East coast for a happier reason!
xoxo
Maris
My thoughts are with you… xoxo diary
Our hopes and prayers are with you!
Dear Allison,
We met in the waiting room outside the CTU unit at North Shore University Hospital and became fast friends. I am so happy your dad is improving! I had tears in my eyes when your sister told me the good news! Let it conitnue. I had a nice talk with your mom too. She told me they were planning to visit you at Christmas. How nice for your whole family.
I’ve misplaced your business card, so I don’t have your e-mail address at hand. Please write to above address and send it to me. Then I will write more.
Hugs from your surrogate mother.
Lois
Wham bam thank you, ma’am, my questions are anwseerd!